(Tone: exasperated, frustrated, tying a knot at the end of my rope so I can hang on...are you feeling it???)
So I mentioned the cleaning ladies who just came on Tuesday, right? Few things feel better to me these days than someone else cleaning my house. I seriously want to hug them when they're done. They wouldn't get it, so I don't, but my heart swells with gratitude and love for them just the same and I close the door behind them with tears in my eyes.
Now, I am not a pessimistic person. Really, I'm more of an optimist. Most days I'm just happy to have a glass, half empty or full being a bonus. But I SWEAR that unseen cosmic forces have gathered together to convince my children to do strange and bizarre things, all aimed at thwarting the happiness I feel because of my clean house! Really! I'm not making this up! Bizarre and strange activity is all around me making a HUGE MESS!!!!!!!
Like Adam making "watermelon juice" out of his chunks of watermelon (by squeezing them with his hands, juice dribbling down his elbows onto the seat, onto the floor) because it "might taste better that way." !!!??? Is anything more IMPOSSIBLE than mopping up watermelon juice and getting it all?? I don't think so.
Or, Jonathan, who has been potty trained for YEARS now having a poopy accident in his pants and deciding to clean it up himself. That's right, all ALONE, no help from Mom at all. You can imagine what my bathroom looked like; the sink, the toilet, the bath mats and the bathtub. I won't gross you out with details, but let's just say that a plunger, lots of Clorox and almost an entire roll of paper towels were involved. And, I threw away the shorts and underwear- I just couldn't take it.
OR...Rachel, who usually is SO good about asking permission before attempting anything messy, deciding to open every package (12 of them) of glitter that came with some LAME art kit that I bought her and "accidentally" getting it all over her cheeks (not an accident), dresser (probably an accident), carpet (definitely an accident), hallway (now she's just not paying attention at all)...you get the idea. My feet have glitter on them. There is glitter in almost every room of the house.
Even Jakie is in on it. My perfect boy who never spits up or pees on me when I change his diaper...you can tell where this is going, right? Spit-up on the couch, the carpet and my cloth rocking chair. Peed ALL over me, Rachel and the carpet- which the boys promptly walked into, then, feeling wetness on their feet RAN all over the carpet tracking it everywhere yelling "Oh gross! Pee!!"
Or even ME, whose big pot of beans (yes, again, those @#$% frickety frackety beans!) boiled over, bean juice splattered on the wall and was scorched to my stove burners. I'm just about to give up on beans as a good protein for my family to eat all together.
I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT!!
It's too much!
Uncle!
I give!
Cosmic forces, you win.
That is, until the cleaning ladies come again.
See? I'm really an optimist.
11 comments:
Oh my goodness, I FEEL your pain. So many times!!!!! Sometimes I have to laugh, or I would cry. Though I do wish I had a cleaning lady. One of my biggest frustrations is Nathan pouring his own juice (see my blog about tampico punch recently; orange juice is another scoutorama coupon book item). He spills more often than not, and is uncanny in his ability to pull a gallon of milk out onto the linoleum and pour when I'm not close enough to help him. 3 times out of 10 he doesn't spill.... Sticky, mergenfergen bleghy kitchen floors. And our little dining spot is carpeted, which is even worse, which is why we usually have water at all meals.
Hi, Sara, it's Stacy Yarrington from Houston. Kimberly gave me your blog address, and I've enjoyed reading your blog. (ours is theperfectchord.blogspot.com) I haven't yet had that gigantic of a mess to clean with any of my kids. (cross my finger for #3 just entering that stage of life.) I can't believe some of the stories about messes that Kimberly tells- kids waking up before she gets up and pouring flour everywhere, or Nathan spilling paint on her carpet or drawing with a permanent marker wherever he felt like it. Or my friend here in Utah whose kids decided to pour out all of her spices one morning, or her daughter's fettish for taking the cornflakes and dumping them all over multiple times until she put a lock on the pantry door and her little girl just sat at the door crying for her "flakes". Or the time Jana's kids got soup, I think, in a nice trail all the way across the kitchen, the living room, up the couch, up the wall, and even onto the ceiling, somehow.
Anyway, it's sounds like you need a 911 cleaning service.
so glad to see you again Stacy! #3 on the way? Look out- when you have more kids than arms, it gets really tricky. good luck!
Actually, Stacy's number 3 is a year and a half, I think. Right, Stacy? Eli.
And here Stacy's telling you other people's hardships, but not her own; her basement has flooded twice in 6 months, horribly flooded, 12k of damage just the first time.
Can I just tell you that I love reading your blog! It does just make me miss you guys - even your messy kids- but I love it all the same. Just think of all the great messes 7 kids could make if we were still there!!
On the upside, you have glitter everywhere. Let your inner Barbie out and enjoy.
I bet you wish I were there to clean out under your couch :)
You poor thing! You could say (with all that glitter) that your house is just so "sparkly" clean! haha! I think you should stay away from the beans for awhile though! ;)remember the last incident?!! (wink, wink) ;) haha!
Hey Sara, it's Sonia from Katy. Well, Mansfield now, I just moved back. I found your blog on Karen's and I just LOVE it! I totally feel your pain! It's the story of my life!!!! Congrats on Jake, he's a cutie pie!!!
maybe you could let the boys run through the watermelon juice first then run all over the glitter spots. Maybe its clear that suestion came from a man.
Hi Sister Fisk!! This is Aimee Sosa, but now Jones :) I love the pics of the kids, I can't believe how old they look! I still think of them as babies. I just got a blog recently: www.texasamjones.blogspot.com
hey sara...this is lisa jarbo. i finally figured out with the help of my friend alicia how to respond and make comments to your HILARIOUS stories. you should write books!! you're funny!! baby fisk is ADORABLE!! congrats i will call you sometime soon. hope all is well. tell the fam hello.
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