I am the maypole

The kids came through the door after having been at a friend's house to play for the afternoon. Jake was asleep so I announced that they could watch a movie while I also went to take a nap. Rachel burst into tears. "But I haven't gotten to BE with you mom!" she said, "Yeah," said the boys, "we want to BE with you."

It's so true. If I am nursing Jake in my room, they are in my room. If I am in the kitchen, they are in the kitchen. If I go outside, three kids come out after me, "Mom? Where are you going? Can we come?" Sometimes I stumble over them because they are so close to me ALL THE TIME.

A few weeks ago, dear friend Emily made this observation that I've thought a lot about. "I've accepted that I'm the maypole in my young children's lives. Although consuming, what an honor, really! I know it won't always be like this."

When I take a moment to set aside the sometimes frustrating events of the day that often accompany parenting and look at my kids, I'm amazed. They are really incredible little people with potential to do and be that I feel genuine reverence for. That they love me (imperfect, grumpy, etc etc) as they do really humbles me.




That's me, there in the middle, the skinny one :)

there is not a cuter kid in the world

Even if you think your kid is cuter, don't bother telling me so. I won't believe you. It's pointless to even try.

#$%@ frickety frackety *&#@ AHHHHHHH!

(Tone: exasperated, frustrated, tying a knot at the end of my rope so I can hang on...are you feeling it???)

So I mentioned the cleaning ladies who just came on Tuesday, right? Few things feel better to me these days than someone else cleaning my house. I seriously want to hug them when they're done. They wouldn't get it, so I don't, but my heart swells with gratitude and love for them just the same and I close the door behind them with tears in my eyes.

Now, I am not a pessimistic person. Really, I'm more of an optimist. Most days I'm just happy to have a glass, half empty or full being a bonus. But I SWEAR that unseen cosmic forces have gathered together to convince my children to do strange and bizarre things, all aimed at thwarting the happiness I feel because of my clean house! Really! I'm not making this up! Bizarre and strange activity is all around me making a HUGE MESS!!!!!!!

Like Adam making "watermelon juice" out of his chunks of watermelon (by squeezing them with his hands, juice dribbling down his elbows onto the seat, onto the floor) because it "might taste better that way." !!!??? Is anything more IMPOSSIBLE than mopping up watermelon juice and getting it all?? I don't think so.

Or, Jonathan, who has been potty trained for YEARS now having a poopy accident in his pants and deciding to clean it up himself. That's right, all ALONE, no help from Mom at all. You can imagine what my bathroom looked like; the sink, the toilet, the bath mats and the bathtub. I won't gross you out with details, but let's just say that a plunger, lots of Clorox and almost an entire roll of paper towels were involved. And, I threw away the shorts and underwear- I just couldn't take it.

OR...Rachel, who usually is SO good about asking permission before attempting anything messy, deciding to open every package (12 of them) of glitter that came with some LAME art kit that I bought her and "accidentally" getting it all over her cheeks (not an accident), dresser (probably an accident), carpet (definitely an accident), hallway (now she's just not paying attention at all)...you get the idea. My feet have glitter on them. There is glitter in almost every room of the house.

Even Jakie is in on it. My perfect boy who never spits up or pees on me when I change his diaper...you can tell where this is going, right? Spit-up on the couch, the carpet and my cloth rocking chair. Peed ALL over me, Rachel and the carpet- which the boys promptly walked into, then, feeling wetness on their feet RAN all over the carpet tracking it everywhere yelling "Oh gross! Pee!!"

Or even ME, whose big pot of beans (yes, again, those @#$% frickety frackety beans!) boiled over, bean juice splattered on the wall and was scorched to my stove burners. I'm just about to give up on beans as a good protein for my family to eat all together.

I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT!!

It's too much!

Uncle!

I give!

Cosmic forces, you win.

That is, until the cleaning ladies come again.

See? I'm really an optimist.

cousins sleepover

After Uncle Eric's wedding all the girl cousins came to my hotel room for a sleepover. It was so fun and I couldn't get enough of these girls!

jake is great

Jakie is the first of my kids to have something that resembles a real roll of fat on his little leg. He took a gander at Stella and decided he wanted to get himself some of those rolls too! He's calling Stella out for a full-on "FAT ROLL CONTEST," winner to be decided in 6 months. May the fattest baby win. These are my favorite Jake pictures so far.

christopher creek

Dan came home from work last week and said "Let's go somewhere." Two hours (no small feat) later we had loaded up our gas-guzzler and, putting thoughts of $4/gallon gas out of our minds, we headed out of hotter-than you-know-where Mesa and headed for the hills. We stayed in Christoper Creek at a "lodge" (a term applied generously- more like a wooden Motel 6) but had a GREAT time despite being able to hear our neighbors. The rooms had lofts in them for the kids to sleep in. All day long as we went from fun activity to fun activity, the kids begged "Can we just go back to the hotel (pronounced "hoe-tail" by Rachel in some inexplicable left over Texas-ness) to play?" They loved it. I loved seeing them run around on the grass at the "town party" as Johnny called it. I loved seeing Rachel chicken out of going to the top of the climbing wall, only to go back and say "I can do it this time, I know I can!" and the look on her face when she went all the way to the TOP! I loved watching Dan and Jacob cuddling. I loved the HUGE rainstorm that came up and how it sent everyone scurrying under some park cabanas, and how everyone made room for each other and made sure the kids weren't getting wet as strangers got to know one another in close quarters. I loved just being with my little family.

bad mommy

Because the cleaning ladies were coming, Jake had to sleep in the closet. I know, having cleaning ladies is a huge luxury, and I wish I could say it is my only one, but I have husband who loves a clean house and also loves a sane wife. But, that is not the point. Jake slept while we cleaned. With a clean house I sat to read a friend's blog- you can waste time with a clean house right? I've already chided her for having a blog that is way too entertaining and thus time-consuming, but now she's in real trouble. Who knows how long I sat there- then it dawned on me- JAKE! I ran to my closet and before I even opened the door I heard his pitiful, helpless cries. I died inside as I picked him up and his shuddering little body was wracked with his little sobs- really, I'm not just being dramatic. I held him and tried to calm him, whispering apologies with tears running down my own cheeks. His full-body shaking finally stopped as he began to nurse, but he looked up at me rather suspiciously..."Are you REALLY my mom? Because my mom wouldn't let that happen to me! How could you??"

At what point do kids start remembering the bad-mommy moments? I had a friend in Texas who decided to put aside saving for for her kid's college education and decided to save for their future psychological counseling (I guess she figured well-adjusted kids were better than well-educated kids). I laughed at the time, but now I just think, this could get expensive.