anniversary

As of yesterday, Dan and I have been married for 9 years. While that may not seem like particularly important news to anyone out there, believe me, it is. When I got married, I genuinely believed that life would get easier from that point on. Yes, there might be troubles and trials, but I would go through them with the man I loved. Bliss was imminent.

I soon learned that being married would be the main trial and trouble I would go through for the next few years. At first, I was certain that the source of said trial and trouble were my husband's weaknesses and shortcomings- he had so many! So, as I felt was my duty, I put significant effort into either pointing those weaknesses out or trying to give him a "weakness makeover" that would produce results more to my liking.

Somewhere along the line, I realized that I had "met the (real) enemy" and it was me. I was in a battle with myself, and Dan's shortcomings, perceived and real, were only the backdrop. Being married has brought out in me, at one time or another, everything that is totally unfit for the Celestial Kingdom. It has taken me awhile to recognize that my battle is with myself- all those ugly, unloving, judgmental and manipulative parts of myself that must be rooted out and destroyed if I am to have the prize that I want with all my heart.

When I recognized that, I was able (over time...lots of time) to let go of my misidentified battle with Dan and more consistently focus on myself. Something wonderful has happened because of it. I am happy- we are happy- happier now at 9 years than ever before. We were happy before, but not consistently. There always seemed to be that inevitable return to battle. Now, we agree on everything and never an unkind word passes between us. Well, not quite. But close.

I'd rather be with him than anyone else on the planet. My concern for him has blossomed into a daily quest to make him happy and comfortable. My desire for his happiness and success more regularly overpowers my desire for my own. I love to honor him in front of our children, to open their eyes to his praiseworthiness. Yes, this is big news for me- for not only is this a very happy anniversary, but it's a grateful acknowledgment that Heavenly Father's plan, His ordination of covenant marriage between a man and a woman, with the two of them working things out over and over and over again through the Savior's power to redeem and improve them, WORKS. It is the way to happiness and joy in this life, and it is the way back to His presence with the person who has become our Prince or Princess Charming to truly live happily ever after. Happy anniversaries to all!