Dear Chocolate Chip Banana Bread,
Had I known it was going to end this way, I would've never invited you to share so much of the past few days with me. I don't know what to say- I feel like you've taken advantage of me. I thought you were one thing, and you've become another. You started as a snack and have become entire meals. I know you say "But, you made me! How could it be my fault?" I know. I added the chocolate chips because I felt good about using whole wheat flour and replacing some of the oil with applesauce. But, had I known the danger that one added ingredient would pose I would've never done it. Had I known that a "batch" was 8 mini-loaves, I would've thought twice. But, in my zeal to not let my brown bananas end up in some landfill, they are now ending up in my tummy.
You're just not who I thought you were. You started out as just plain old banana bread, but now you are all the more sweetly accompanied by chocolate chips, which, has been proven in numerous scientific studies, I am powerless to resist. I haven't even given my other snacks a second thought. All the carrot sticks and cauliflower that I so carefully cut and prepared sit idly by in the fridge as the spell you have cast over me brings be back to you again and again. It doesn't matter that I've given you away to friends and neighbors, too much of you remains in this house. You are a distraction, and it must end. You must be gone from my life- you have until the end of the day. If you are not gone by then, it's the freezer for you. I am sorry that it has come to this; I hope we can meet again in the future under more pleasant circumstances.
Sincerely,
Sara
6 comments:
You should get paid money to write, you should submit a post to that book for NieNie, let me know if you need the link.
Freeze that bread and save it for me!
Lady to her weight loss group: "Oh dear! We had birthday cake, and half of it was left. Over the course of the day, I accidentally finished off the cake!"
Ladies, "Oh no! What did your husband and family say when you fell off the bandwagon?"
Lady #1: "Oh, none of them know. I made another cake and ate half of it."
The thing about 'banana' bread and 'zucchini' bread is that they make you think you are eating something healthy because they have fruit and vegetables in them. It's all a rouse, right from the start. But if you choose to go along with it, which I do all the time then you can feel fine about adding the chocolate chips because they have great health benefits too, like antioxidants or calcium if they were milk chocolate, right? So, really, what are you feeling bad about anyway?
Sara, I just tagged you on my blog, but if you don't want to do it that's ok with me, cuz I don't really like getting tagged myself.
OK You are HILARIOUS!! I can't wait to make some banana bread with chocolate chips in it! YUMMY!!!!
Oh Sara, you are my bread eating and craving soul mate!
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